Do you remember what you thought you were going to do for a living when you entered college? Back then I thought I was going to teach music or be a drug counselor. I’m in a WAAAAAAY different place now!!!!!
There I was, applying my music theory and social psych, and next thing you know, “IT” happened. During a particularly tough patch in my life, my brother shared some wisdom with me. I remember the exact moment he said it – italian restaurant, corner booth, Pammy’s birthday, Grandma was there. I will never forget those words. What he said was “if you can’t wake up and go to sleep every day with a smile on your face, you need to change something in your life.”
In an instant my life changed. Within a week I was hired at the company that eventually relocated me to Las Vegas, where I would eventually find PartnerWeekly, my wife, and the amazing life I have today.
It’s amazing how “IT” – one little moment – can change your life, huh?
I had another one of those instances this week. Two, actually. They happened on the flights to and from New York for Affiliate Summit. Again, my life was changed instantly and I will never forget where I was when IT happened. Here’s the story:
About a week ago, I noticed that one of my more blunt, type-A friends/clients had completely changed his approach with both his clients and vendors. The change was so drastic that I asked him about it. He told me that he read a couple of books that changed the way he thought about business and personal interactions and that he’d never be the same. He tried to explain the books to me.
They didn’t make a bit of sense.
Then he overnighted them to me. Just like he said, my life changed in about 5 hours. I’m not going to tell you what these books are about, but I will tell you what they aren’t about.
They won’t help you write sales copy.
They won’t teach you to be more influential.
They have nothing to do with anything ending in “.com”.
These books will redefine how you interact with the people around you. In fact, they have displaced Cialdini as my #1 and #2 picks for must read business books. (Unless you’re an affiliate marketer who works out of your home and spends your day chatting with AM’s. In that case, keep reading Cialdini.)
I’m going to make a commitment to you. Whenever I find a book that I really love, I buy a ton of copies of it to make sure I can give it away to my friends and loved ones. I’m so confident that these books are life changing that if you don’t want them I’ll buy them back from you. (You just have to ship them to my house so I can give them away. Hell I’ll even pay for shipping.)
As a final teaser, I will mention that when I finished reading the 1st book I picked up the phone and called my wife and a few close friends and vendors to apologize for how misguided my interactions have been.
P.S. Thanks to Ringo Dingo for the words of wisdom back in ’01 and to my anonymous friend/client for the read. Incredible.
Other Random Stuff
If something in your work or home life seems impossible, it’s probably because you are being stretched to your emotional or mental limits. Humans tend to resist change and challenge. Both of these things are hard to deal with.
Don’t let yourself get left behind by this sort of thinking. Instead of giving a litany of reasons why the project can’t happen, think about all the reasons it can. Or it should. Or it needs to. Write them down and repeat them over and over again. Sell yourself on them. Take what seems impossible and convince yourself why it is possible.
Other Random Stuff
Aspiring musicians check this out -- not 6 or 7 months ago this guy was doing solo acoustic work at a STEAK HOUSE near my place. A f***ing STEAK HOUSE. Now he’s on an international stage. Stick with it y’all. Keep practicing, wood shedding and gig, gig, gig.
I remember hearing this man and wondering “why in the hell is this guy playing a gig in a casino restaurant -- this some of the best talent I’ve ever heard.” Me and my buddies couldn’t find enough money to tip this guy. Best vocalist in Las Vegas, easy.
What a story. What a voice!!!!!
Here he is on TV:
Here he is playing a gig at Hank’s, a steakhouse at Green Valley Ranch casino. Not bad for a 30 year old kid.
Vegas is proud of you Michael -- you’re an inspiration!!!!!
Other Random Stuff
What makes a marketer/musician/businessman/individual truly “great?”
This is the ongoing debate I’ve had with a friend of mine. He believes greatness (particularly in the political arena) is defined by being “the smartest person in the room.” I disagree.
It’s not just about being the best, smartest, or fastest, or knowing the most notes, or helping others. Greatness is also defined by your limitations.
Can you look at a situation, acknowledge that you can’t pull it off alone, and bring in the pros? Can you hire for your deficiencies rather than just employ people who think like you? Do you play with musicians who are better than you or strive to be the best musician in any project?
I am TERRIBLE at arranging music. I like to write tunes and noodle around a bit with it but when it comes to arrangements I’m lost. Back in Chicago I discovered an awesome piano player and arranger. No matter how uncomfortable I felt with his suggestions, I did my best to implement them because I knew he had a skill set that I did not have.
It is hard to stifle yourself when you disagree with an idea, but sometimes that is exactly what you have to do to grow and become great.
Other Random Stuff
I’m still on the boat in Cabo so this is going to be a quick one -
I met a new buddy on the boat. His name is Dave and he’s a music teacher in Mesa, AZ. We had a great time with terrible impersonations during a karaoke contest – he was the Elton John winner, while I attempted (and later withdrew) a bid to become the boat’s official Britney Spears. (pictures forthcoming)
Although I didn’t learn a whole lot about him, I respect the heck out of anyone who can ditch the self consciousness and hop on stage for a tune or two – particularly one that they haven’t practiced.
That made me think about this week’s tip: If you’re trying to make a career out of playing, being a great musician is really important. That said, being a great performer is just as important. If you’re new to performing, you will be nervous your first time…without a doubt.
The best way to get over those nerves is to practice, right? But how do you practice being on stage without actually being onstage at a paid gig? Simple. Karaoke. This might sound kinda goofy, but it will help you:
- Be on a stage in front of people.
- Learn to be ok with making mistakes during a performance.
- Get past your nerves and relax while performing.
- Deal with pre-performance jitters.
- Depending upon the venue, adjust to lighting, hecklers, bad sound systems, etc.
This one might not apply if you’re on stage regularly but should prove to be a simple (and free) practice technique for the newbies.
Anyways, thanks to Elton John from Mesa for this week’s tip!!!!
Other Random Stuff
[Ernie is my 5 year old bouvier des flandres. As a special surprise for my birthday, he has agreed to take some blogging burden off of my shoulders and answer some reader questions. -Joe]
Hi everyone! I’d like Joe to have a fun birthday weekend, put the laptop down and play catch with me for a bit, so I’ve hijacked his MBP and will be answering reader questions this weekend. So if there’s anything you want to know about me, Joe, Las Vegas, guitar, or internet marketing, go ahead and send me some questions! I look forward to hearing from you! – Ernie.
Other Random Stuff
Seth Godin’s blog always makes me think. His post this morning was titled “But You’re Not Saying Anything.” In it, he writes:
I was talking with a buddy about this very subject last week. Some other examples:
- “Objective” statements on your resumé. Weak.
- The majority of executive summaries / introductions on sales proposals.
- 95% of web site FAQs.
The best way to get and keep someone’s attention is to be direct and tell them what you’re looking for, not fill a document with B.S. corporate speak and hype words.
Other Random Stuff
Chad from Dallas requested a list of good sales books. Here are a few of my favorites, in no particular order:
BGD Says: Cialdini is a genius. This book was co-written by him. Easy to get through, quick to understand.
BGD Says: The book that made Cialdini famous. Required reading for every sales person I’ve ever hired.
BGD Says: Great if you’re doing complex sales with long turnaround times.
Other Random Stuff
I suck at songwriting. I go through these LOOOOONG dry spells (lasting a year or more) during which everything I write is poop and I wind up dumping it. Then my brain turns on for a week or two, I toss out some mediocre stuff, and back to poo writing. I was thinking about that this week when all of the sudden I wound up having drinks with Brian Vander Ark from The Verve Pipe. We all know he’s an incredible songwriter. Turns out he’s also a great (and very patient) guy!
The background – My good friend Kevin over at Farstar, in addition to being one of the best brand advocate + consumer acquisition guys that I know, is apparently also close friends with Brian and his family. Kevin and I talk a lot about the creative process – so he knows that I think I suck at song writing. 
During a road trip this week, fates aligned and I went for drinks with Kevin, his project guru Brandi, my brother Mike, and Brian Vander Ark. What an eye opening experience it was.
One of my biggest problems is that 90% of the music I write is crap… at least in my opinion. I read through my lyrics and compare them to great songwriters and just can’t pull the trigger on performing them. I scrap them because they aren’t good enough for me and certainly not for potential listeners. Then I hear all the drivel on the radio and wonder if it’s ok to put out sub-par product if you think that it will sell.
So I’m torn between putting out GOOD product and MARKETABLE product, which are two totally different things.
So I asked Brian – how do you deal with it? Do you ever put songs out that you aren’t 100% happy with if you think they will sell? His short answer was “no.” Like me, he scraps 90% of his music and only allows the best stuff to get out there. If it doesn’t make him proud he doesn’t release it.
I find this absolutely amazing (and a bit dismal for the future of my song writing). Amazing = how in the heck does a songwriter continue to produce “A” material year after year after year after year while constantly beating him/herself up about work product? I am not sure i could do that. Dismal = I’m not sure I have the patience for it. Every time I write a crappy song I get disenfranchised and it makes me want to not write any more. It’s like hitting a plateau in the gym or judo where you just can’t get to the next level…except with song writing I have NO IDEA how to just “work through it.”
It’s really easy for me to be self-critical at work. I’m great at developing an idea, criticizing it and changing it or scrapping it entirely without beating myself up too much. Although I love and am really passionate about what I do, something about it isn’t nearly as personal or intimate as writing.
So what to do? I know that Brian is right but also really sucks!
P.S. Thanks Kevin for arranging that. Awesome time.
Other Random Stuff
Many of you know that I have been visiting a doctor about my weight for the last few months. Well, I’m pleased to announce that today was “after” photo day. All in all it was a phenomenal program. I probably could’ve done it a bit faster but given the work situation, holidays and that sort of thing I’m really happy. Here are the stats and pics.
Before: Nearly 260. 30%+ body fat. These photos are from the day I started at Medi Weight Loss Clinics. I was around 240 at that time. Those pants are 40/32s. XL to XXL shirts. Ugh.
After: 202. 19% body fat. 32″ waist. Large tshirt.
Medi Weight Loss has absolutely changed my life. It was really hard to walk into that office and tell Dr. Miller that I was failing at this weight loss thing. Totally worth it though. I’ve referred quite a number of friends (would be more if they had an affiliate program…ahem ahem) and they are all having similar results. I would recommend it to anyone. It’s a bit pricey but well worth it – plus you more than offset it with savings on food. (You will eat considerably less and cook for yourself more, which is cheaper than junk food and/or dining out.)
